| Position | Player |
| --- | --- |
| First base | Who |
| Second base | What |
| Third base | I Don’t Know |
| Left field | Why |
| Center field | Because |
| Right field | —N/a |
| Pitcher | Tomorrow |
| Catcher | Today |
| Shortstop | I Don’t Care or I Don’t Give a Darn or I Don’t Give a Damn |